A God that is Good?!

Very recently I have been attacked with these thoughts and feelings that maybe God isn't actually good! For the first time in my walk with Him I began to question His character. I learnt recently that Jeremiah 29:11 (For I know the plans I have for you, Declares the Lord, plans to give you hope and a future...) has been taken out of context when used to define our lives today. Chapter 29 is a letter that Jeremiah writes to the Israelites who are being carried into exile by the Babylonians. In verse 11, God does promise that He has plans for the Jewish people but the exiles that the letter was written to will die in Babylon.
My faith was never based solely on this verse, but reading the context that this verse is in and finding out that it didn't necessarily apply to my life today stumped me. It made me question whether or not I could trust God's heart for me. I know that my future in Heaven is secure. That when I get there I will have an ever-lasting joy for eternal life! There will be no tears, no grief, no pain, no sorrow and I will be whole, complete and fully content and secure with Christ, but I'm going to be on this earth for, as far as I'm concerned, a really long time before I get to Heaven, so how can I know that my future here is secure? That the plans for my life are good?! How can I know that God is concerned with my happiness? I began to think well maybe God's plan for me is to bring others to Him..that could be through persecution, suffering and sacrifice..but He will be getting what He wants, more people in the Kingdom. I began to believe that He would just use me to get to others. That he chose me simply, and only, so that others could come to know Him. And this FREAKED me out! It didn't sit right with me that God would just use me. That my life to Him was valued on the numbers of souls I could bring to His Kingdom. That love seemed selfish to me, that He would love me conditioned on what I could do for Him. So how could I be certain that God had good plans for my life? Plans for a hope and a future?! Jesus actually promises in the Bible that we will have suffering (Matthew 5:10-11) He says we should rejoice in suffering, for our reward is in Heaven. So is my God good?!
There is truth in the fact that we will have suffering on earth, there is truth that God has called us to teach others about Him, to build His Kingdom, there is truth that we have security in Heaven and there is truth that God uses us to teach others, but His love is NOT conditioned.
As fast as I began doubting the Father's Heart, I asked questions and He revealed His true nature to me.  I talked to friends, read books and prayed, asking God to reveal Himself, and He did. So here is what I have learned: God is our Father. I looked up the definition of the 'father' on the internet and what came up was "a man in relation to his child". God made us to be in a relationship with Him, that first and foremost shows that He cares about us. After the fall, when Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden of Eden and become aware of their shame they ran and hid. God calls out to them and asks "Where are you?", He then asks "Who told you that you were naked?" and "How could you have done such a thing?" (Genesis 3:9-14) God knows where they are, He knows how they sinned and why they sinned but He still wants them to tell Him, because that is how a relationship works. God abandons the fact that he already knows, to question His children. He asks us questions, having already known the answer, because He wants us to tell Him. He wants us to talk to Him,  to be in relationship with Him. God has called us into a co-labouring relationship with Him. Jesus didn't accomplish everything so that we would accomplish nothing!! He died on the cross to bridge the gap between God and His people, us! He has called us into a joint labour with Him through the blood of Christ.
I spoke to my friend, who is a father, and asked him what it means to be a father. And he told me that from a father's point of view, he loves his child soooo much that all he ever wants to do is hold his child and never let go.
While I was struggling with the Father heart of God I was questioning whether God cared about the desires I have for my life. Along with loads of other Christian girls I have this massive desire to get married one day. I really want to be pursued by a guy that is pursuing God, I want to fall in love with a guy that is in love with God, to marry a guy that is committed to God and to have children with a guy that is a child of God. My friend went on to tell me that when he brings his daughter into a sweet shop he'll ask her, "which sweet do you want?" and she'll just say "whichever sweet Daddy"..so he'll go and pick her out a sweet and give it to her. But she'll say "not that one Daddy" and he will say "okay, you need to tell me exactly which sweet you want." And she will describe what colour, flavour, size, smell and texture she wants that sweet to be. He will go to the very top, right hand corner, under all the other sweets and pick out the perfect sweet for her, her eyes will light up and she will be say "that's the sweet Daddy!!!" God wants us to tell Him exactly what we want. God is so good that He wants us to dream. Psalm 37:3-6 says "Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord and trust in Him and He will do this. He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun."
We need to trust in God's heart for us. We need to dwell in His presence. Ultimately God has created us to be in a relationship with Him, to love Him, to live for Him and with Him and through that He will make all things work together for our good. I don't ever want to love God because of what He can do for me. I love Him because of who He is. Because of how GOOD He is and because He first loved me. But I also don't need to live in fear that He doesn't have my best intentions at heart. God loves you. He is pursuing your heart and wants to give you the desires of your heart. God wants to bring break-through in your life, to let you see His glory and passion for you. He has gifted each one of us with different gifts and placed different desires in each of our hearts so that we can use our gifts to glorify Him and see our desires come to pass, that is how great our God is.
I hold tight to the knowledge of who my God is. I believe that I will be happily married one day. I believe that I will have children whom I love and who will love me. I believe that I will use my passion for music to glorify and serve Him and I have certainty and security on earth, and in heaven, that my Father loves me so much and is with me each and every step of the way. I know that the love of God has no conditions. That He just wants me to be with Him. His heart for me is good, His heart for me is passionate, His heart for me is trustworthy and His heart for me is my only hope.

Who am I? 

We live in a world full of lies. We live in a world that tells us that we will never be good enough. We will never be skinny enough, as attractive as the person next to us, we will never be smart enough or funny enough and to be ourselves just isn't 'enough'. The things that the world tells us about ourselves directly challenges who God says that we are...and, in return, God directly challenges what the world says about us.
Genesis 1:27 "So God created human beings in His image. In the image of God He created them. He created them male and female." Verse 31 "God looked at everything He had made, and it was very good." The Creator of the Universe, of the earth, skies, seas, animals and birds, the creator of EVERYTHING created you and I. Not only did He create us, but He created us in His IMAGE. He created us in His likeness, and He saw that it was good. Unfortunately sin came into the world, man fell and became separated from God. However, God is so good that He sent His only son to die on the cross for us, to reconcile us with Him. Why, therefore, do we still believe the lies that come from the same mouth of the serpent that tricked Adam and Eve? 
I believe that if we all knew the full extent of how much God values us then our lives would look totally different, and I'm preaching to myself here. So often I have believed lies that have stopped me from using my gifts and talents in their full ability to serve and glorify God. God has placed a big passion inside me for music, yet I've been too insecure about my abilities to ever lead worship or serve Him through my passion. But He has been teaching me that He has a very different, and very significant plan and purpose for each one of our lives, so if He has gifted you with something then USE it, and use it to glorify Him. Don't let fear or insecurities hold you back from being exactly who you are created to be. We were created by the CREATOR to be creative, so let loose!! 
God has called us into a co-labouring relationship with Him. More often than not, we ask God to answer a prayer FOR us, rather than THROUGH us. Jesus didn't accomplish everything so that we would accomplish nothing. In fact when He was going back up to heaven He told His disciples that we would do even GREATER things than He did (John 14:12). But how can we accomplish anything if we don't know who we are in Christ, who God has called us, who He thinks that we are! Identity outside of Christ is inherently unstable. If we don't know our identity in Christ then we allow other people's comments and remarks to command our destiny. God's word pulls us into our futures. It tells us who we are now, which shows us what we can do. When I hear the way some of my friends talk about themselves it breaks my heart, so I can't even imagine how much it breaks our Father's heart. There is a real need for people to know exactly who they are. When you know who you are, you can change the world. Think of all the amazing things Jesus did. He turned water into wine, healed the sick, rose the dead, walked on water, made the blind see, He brought many people to God, He died and rose again and yet He said we will do even greater things than He! We need to see that happening. We need to be out healing the sick, raising the dead and making miracles happen in the name of Jesus. Christ left us the Holy Spirit as our guide and helper. One that will live in us and do Kingdom work through us. We need to be doing more!
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away and the new has come." I have let myself be dragged down by my past for too long. I have messed up a billion times. I've been so far from God that I didn't even know myself. I've made the most stupid mistakes and I have really damaged my heart but that's my past. And although God will work with me through my past and healing can be a LONG process sometimes, He also calls me a NEW CREATION. The past is gone, sing a new song! While working through my past with Christ, and learning new lessons, I will live as a new creation. I will not dwell in my past. I will walk forth knowing that Jesus has covered me by His blood and I am made new. I am forgiven. I am a child of God BY RIGHT (John 1:12) and there is no condemnation for me (Romans 8:1) so I will live as a child of the day. 
Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and he will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, and they will bring offerings in righteousness to the LORD"

Our Father is refining us like silver. He will sit and refine us. When a refiner is purifying silver they must keep their eye on the silver at ALL times so that it does not spoil. The refiner knows when the silver is fully refined when he can see his image in it... God is refining us to perfection, He always has His eye on us and He is looking for His image inside us. And I know, for me, He is seeing Himself in me more and more each day, as I make a conscious effort to live for Him, to spend time with Him, to love Him and to serve Him. I encourage you to do the same. He loves you SO much. Let Him refine you and purify you. Then you can walk in the full knowledge of who you are in Him: a beloved, righteous, spotless, whole, blameless, holy, pardoned, forgiven, redeemed child of the King of Kings. Let your life reflect who you are!