A God that is Good?!
Very recently I have been attacked with these thoughts and feelings that maybe God isn't actually good! For the first time in my walk with Him I began to question His character. I learnt recently that Jeremiah 29:11 (For I know the plans I have for you, Declares the Lord, plans to give you hope and a future...) has been taken out of context when used to define our lives today. Chapter 29 is a letter that Jeremiah writes to the Israelites who are being carried into exile by the Babylonians. In verse 11, God does promise that He has plans for the Jewish people but the exiles that the letter was written to will die in Babylon.
My faith was never based solely on this verse, but reading the context that this verse is in and finding out that it didn't necessarily apply to my life today stumped me. It made me question whether or not I could trust God's heart for me. I know that my future in Heaven is secure. That when I get there I will have an ever-lasting joy for eternal life! There will be no tears, no grief, no pain, no sorrow and I will be whole, complete and fully content and secure with Christ, but I'm going to be on this earth for, as far as I'm concerned, a really long time before I get to Heaven, so how can I know that my future here is secure? That the plans for my life are good?! How can I know that God is concerned with my happiness? I began to think well maybe God's plan for me is to bring others to Him..that could be through persecution, suffering and sacrifice..but He will be getting what He wants, more people in the Kingdom. I began to believe that He would just use me to get to others. That he chose me simply, and only, so that others could come to know Him. And this FREAKED me out! It didn't sit right with me that God would just use me. That my life to Him was valued on the numbers of souls I could bring to His Kingdom. That love seemed selfish to me, that He would love me conditioned on what I could do for Him. So how could I be certain that God had good plans for my life? Plans for a hope and a future?! Jesus actually promises in the Bible that we will have suffering (Matthew 5:10-11) He says we should rejoice in suffering, for our reward is in Heaven. So is my God good?!
There is truth in the fact that we will have suffering on earth, there is truth that God has called us to teach others about Him, to build His Kingdom, there is truth that we have security in Heaven and there is truth that God uses us to teach others, but His love is NOT conditioned.
As fast as I began doubting the Father's Heart, I asked questions and He revealed His true nature to me. I talked to friends, read books and prayed, asking God to reveal Himself, and He did. So here is what I have learned: God is our Father. I looked up the definition of the 'father' on the internet and what came up was "a man in relation to his child". God made us to be in a relationship with Him, that first and foremost shows that He cares about us. After the fall, when Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden of Eden and become aware of their shame they ran and hid. God calls out to them and asks "Where are you?", He then asks "Who told you that you were naked?" and "How could you have done such a thing?" (Genesis 3:9-14) God knows where they are, He knows how they sinned and why they sinned but He still wants them to tell Him, because that is how a relationship works. God abandons the fact that he already knows, to question His children. He asks us questions, having already known the answer, because He wants us to tell Him. He wants us to talk to Him, to be in relationship with Him. God has called us into a co-labouring relationship with Him. Jesus didn't accomplish everything so that we would accomplish nothing!! He died on the cross to bridge the gap between God and His people, us! He has called us into a joint labour with Him through the blood of Christ.
I spoke to my friend, who is a father, and asked him what it means to be a father. And he told me that from a father's point of view, he loves his child soooo much that all he ever wants to do is hold his child and never let go.
While I was struggling with the Father heart of God I was questioning whether God cared about the desires I have for my life. Along with loads of other Christian girls I have this massive desire to get married one day. I really want to be pursued by a guy that is pursuing God, I want to fall in love with a guy that is in love with God, to marry a guy that is committed to God and to have children with a guy that is a child of God. My friend went on to tell me that when he brings his daughter into a sweet shop he'll ask her, "which sweet do you want?" and she'll just say "whichever sweet Daddy"..so he'll go and pick her out a sweet and give it to her. But she'll say "not that one Daddy" and he will say "okay, you need to tell me exactly which sweet you want." And she will describe what colour, flavour, size, smell and texture she wants that sweet to be. He will go to the very top, right hand corner, under all the other sweets and pick out the perfect sweet for her, her eyes will light up and she will be say "that's the sweet Daddy!!!" God wants us to tell Him exactly what we want. God is so good that He wants us to dream. Psalm 37:3-6 says "Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord and trust in Him and He will do this. He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun."
We need to trust in God's heart for us. We need to dwell in His presence. Ultimately God has created us to be in a relationship with Him, to love Him, to live for Him and with Him and through that He will make all things work together for our good. I don't ever want to love God because of what He can do for me. I love Him because of who He is. Because of how GOOD He is and because He first loved me. But I also don't need to live in fear that He doesn't have my best intentions at heart. God loves you. He is pursuing your heart and wants to give you the desires of your heart. God wants to bring break-through in your life, to let you see His glory and passion for you. He has gifted each one of us with different gifts and placed different desires in each of our hearts so that we can use our gifts to glorify Him and see our desires come to pass, that is how great our God is.
I hold tight to the knowledge of who my God is. I believe that I will be happily married one day. I believe that I will have children whom I love and who will love me. I believe that I will use my passion for music to glorify and serve Him and I have certainty and security on earth, and in heaven, that my Father loves me so much and is with me each and every step of the way. I know that the love of God has no conditions. That He just wants me to be with Him. His heart for me is good, His heart for me is passionate, His heart for me is trustworthy and His heart for me is my only hope.
My faith was never based solely on this verse, but reading the context that this verse is in and finding out that it didn't necessarily apply to my life today stumped me. It made me question whether or not I could trust God's heart for me. I know that my future in Heaven is secure. That when I get there I will have an ever-lasting joy for eternal life! There will be no tears, no grief, no pain, no sorrow and I will be whole, complete and fully content and secure with Christ, but I'm going to be on this earth for, as far as I'm concerned, a really long time before I get to Heaven, so how can I know that my future here is secure? That the plans for my life are good?! How can I know that God is concerned with my happiness? I began to think well maybe God's plan for me is to bring others to Him..that could be through persecution, suffering and sacrifice..but He will be getting what He wants, more people in the Kingdom. I began to believe that He would just use me to get to others. That he chose me simply, and only, so that others could come to know Him. And this FREAKED me out! It didn't sit right with me that God would just use me. That my life to Him was valued on the numbers of souls I could bring to His Kingdom. That love seemed selfish to me, that He would love me conditioned on what I could do for Him. So how could I be certain that God had good plans for my life? Plans for a hope and a future?! Jesus actually promises in the Bible that we will have suffering (Matthew 5:10-11) He says we should rejoice in suffering, for our reward is in Heaven. So is my God good?!
There is truth in the fact that we will have suffering on earth, there is truth that God has called us to teach others about Him, to build His Kingdom, there is truth that we have security in Heaven and there is truth that God uses us to teach others, but His love is NOT conditioned.
As fast as I began doubting the Father's Heart, I asked questions and He revealed His true nature to me. I talked to friends, read books and prayed, asking God to reveal Himself, and He did. So here is what I have learned: God is our Father. I looked up the definition of the 'father' on the internet and what came up was "a man in relation to his child". God made us to be in a relationship with Him, that first and foremost shows that He cares about us. After the fall, when Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden of Eden and become aware of their shame they ran and hid. God calls out to them and asks "Where are you?", He then asks "Who told you that you were naked?" and "How could you have done such a thing?" (Genesis 3:9-14) God knows where they are, He knows how they sinned and why they sinned but He still wants them to tell Him, because that is how a relationship works. God abandons the fact that he already knows, to question His children. He asks us questions, having already known the answer, because He wants us to tell Him. He wants us to talk to Him, to be in relationship with Him. God has called us into a co-labouring relationship with Him. Jesus didn't accomplish everything so that we would accomplish nothing!! He died on the cross to bridge the gap between God and His people, us! He has called us into a joint labour with Him through the blood of Christ.
I spoke to my friend, who is a father, and asked him what it means to be a father. And he told me that from a father's point of view, he loves his child soooo much that all he ever wants to do is hold his child and never let go.
While I was struggling with the Father heart of God I was questioning whether God cared about the desires I have for my life. Along with loads of other Christian girls I have this massive desire to get married one day. I really want to be pursued by a guy that is pursuing God, I want to fall in love with a guy that is in love with God, to marry a guy that is committed to God and to have children with a guy that is a child of God. My friend went on to tell me that when he brings his daughter into a sweet shop he'll ask her, "which sweet do you want?" and she'll just say "whichever sweet Daddy"..so he'll go and pick her out a sweet and give it to her. But she'll say "not that one Daddy" and he will say "okay, you need to tell me exactly which sweet you want." And she will describe what colour, flavour, size, smell and texture she wants that sweet to be. He will go to the very top, right hand corner, under all the other sweets and pick out the perfect sweet for her, her eyes will light up and she will be say "that's the sweet Daddy!!!" God wants us to tell Him exactly what we want. God is so good that He wants us to dream. Psalm 37:3-6 says "Trust in the Lord and do good, dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord and trust in Him and He will do this. He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun."
We need to trust in God's heart for us. We need to dwell in His presence. Ultimately God has created us to be in a relationship with Him, to love Him, to live for Him and with Him and through that He will make all things work together for our good. I don't ever want to love God because of what He can do for me. I love Him because of who He is. Because of how GOOD He is and because He first loved me. But I also don't need to live in fear that He doesn't have my best intentions at heart. God loves you. He is pursuing your heart and wants to give you the desires of your heart. God wants to bring break-through in your life, to let you see His glory and passion for you. He has gifted each one of us with different gifts and placed different desires in each of our hearts so that we can use our gifts to glorify Him and see our desires come to pass, that is how great our God is.
I hold tight to the knowledge of who my God is. I believe that I will be happily married one day. I believe that I will have children whom I love and who will love me. I believe that I will use my passion for music to glorify and serve Him and I have certainty and security on earth, and in heaven, that my Father loves me so much and is with me each and every step of the way. I know that the love of God has no conditions. That He just wants me to be with Him. His heart for me is good, His heart for me is passionate, His heart for me is trustworthy and His heart for me is my only hope.
